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DieWildnis

I hate formation.
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Bootcamp

1 min read
I'm leaving this week. I won't be back for 3 months give or take a few days. 

I'll have zero access to the outside world. I will be yelled at and running nonstop and struggling (probably to keep up with my tiny legs). But I will come back a Marine!

Eddie
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The reason I've been gone so long is because the Marines are taking over my life. Not that I view this as a bad thing, but it bugs me that I'm putting my friends in the backseat of my life. 

Anyway! I passed MEPS! With flying colors (as far as I know).
I don't have much time, so I'll have to post a short list of awesome things. 
  • Had to retake the ASVAB. I got a 93 this second time around, 4 points lower than my original, but hey. I'm still in Category I. 
  • My SSgt. made me squad leader. In a candidate pool, we're all poolees. There's one Guide and up to 3 squad leades. Because my physical fitness sucks, I can't be guide, haha. 
  • The reason I'm guide is because I'm coordinating with the other poolees to get to know each other outside of weekly workouts, extra workouts with others, as well as helping people pass the ASVAB. I helped one girl pass the ASVAB, jumping her up 13 points from her original score. SSgt. has now given me more people to "teach." He calls me a gift from God. I'm calling him SSgt Suffer in my head. (FYI, I'm not a big fan of teaching.)
  • I think I made Gunny Caderas angry with my employment history at MEPS, but he seemed ok with me since I didn't fail horrible the PT stuff and did everything else he said. I think I was the only one who could understand what he was actually saying. He's this Peruvian guy who know one can understand. Super strong accent. He's awesome but everyone else is scared of him. 

The next things I'll be working in besides working out:
  • Taking the DLAB (Defense Language Aptitude Battery) so I hopefully can work in intelligence or Cryptolinguistics. 
  • Choosing my MOS (Military Occupational Speciality). SSgt. wants me to do Admin. I don't want to do Admin. Admin is like a military secretary. Sounds like they mostly just do data entry and paperwork. I think I might cry horrendously and... I'm not sure. I will hate it with a passion. SSgt. hates paperwork too. Another reason why I'm calling him SSgt. Suffer. 

    Anyway, must go. Have work. Oh yeah. I got a job. yay. ugh. 


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Welcome!

3 min read




Listening to:        Tauren Wells: "Love is Action"
                              NEEDTOBREATHE: "No Excuses" & "Hard Love"
Drinking:              Water, 128 oz a day

I keep telling myself to stop apologizing for everything, but here I go again: I'm sorry. To those whom I was doing stuff here on DA, I kind of just dropped everyone. I did not intend that.


But, I'm sure it's more of a question of why. Am I right?


First, my computer is crap. Utter crap. I HATE PCs with a massive passion. But they're cheap. I upgraded to windows 10 in hopes to elevate some of the issues. It did, but then came other issues, one of which I can't seem to solve: Win10 sucks up all my freaking RAM, especially when I get on the internet. Doesn't seem to matter the browser (but I like my browser, for the most part, for all the security features.) So, I'm still solving that issue.


However, that's not all.

Monday, August 8th, my mom forcibly drove me to the recruiter's station for the US Marine Corps.



I really did not feel prepared for this AT ALL. I admit, I wanted to wait till I was at least 5 lbs lighter and got my run time down even more. The Staff Sergeant there was all (facial expressions, mind you), "Are you real? Are you lost? You do know this is the UNITED STATES MARINE CORPS, right?"



But we talked for a bit and he asked me to come in the next day. I came back and took a few tests:
1. AQFT: 77/100
  ● 74 is eligible for officer candidacy
  ● Which is 4 shortened versions of 4 ASVAB subtests
2. Crunches: 74/110 in 2 minutes
  ● 40 is passing
3. Flex Arm Hang: 37 sec
  ● 15 sec is passing
4. I've finally made weight
  ● I lost 10lbs earlier this year and 10 more this past july.

He was excited, I think, because SSgt. is a rather low-key guy, so his excitement seemed tampered. I think he was mostly excited beoause he said, "Girls don't come to the Marines. You're rare. And because you want to be an officer, with the quals to be one, even rarer. You're a f***in unicorn."



He called the Captain in the next town and had me go visit him. Now, the Captain is super hard to read, but apparently he really and I mean, really liked me (not the romantic way), but he wanted me to go reserves. He even (apparently) called the Major to get me to go to bootcamp in October when they were already all booked. Apparently the Captain doesn't just do this for anyone. But, he did say that I'd start in enlisted reserves and then go to the OCS (Officer Command School) selection board come summer, but it was my run time that was killing me. I need to run an 8 min mile and right now it's around 10 or 12 minutes... However, I decided to say no to that option. I'd rather go active enlisted, get my leg up in experience that way, and then try and earn officer status. Besides, enlisted always respects officers more if they've been enlisted first.

These past 2 Thursdays, I've been going to PCS (I have no idea what it stands for) and the first time, I apparently did way better than some of the guys that have their first try at it, so I'm really happy about that. (Then I was stupid and strained my pectineus muscle and SSgt. was nice and didn't make anyone run last Thursday. But next time...eh... he said it's going to be the hardest ever.)

I took my ASVAB yesterday. And it's a new kind that requires either a verification test or a confirmation test. The verification test is simply to say, "Yep, these are my legit scores. I didn't cheat." It's if I got within 1-19 point improvement on my final score from my AQFT. So, if I got a 90, from my original 77, I'm good because it's only 13 points. But if I scored a 99, 22 above my 77, Then I have to take the confirmation test, which is longer and a bit more challenging. If the scores don't match up in either verification or confirmation, I then have to retake the entire ASVAB at MEPS (Military Entrance Processing Station). And that's a 3+ hour long process. I don't want to put SSgt. through that and I don't want to do that... so I'm continuing to study math. I hate math. I hate formulas. Studying math legitimately all I've been doing these past 2 weeks.

The only thing that may hold me back is my height. I thought I was 5'0". SSgt. has me at 4'10". MY WHOLE LIFE IS A LIE. SSgt. said MEPS tends to mark people lower on the height, so they might put me at 4'9" and that's 1 inch below what's allowed. I'm freaking terrified that I won't be allowed in just because of 1 stupid inch. 




Which also means I will never be able to join any of the 4 branches. So, I think my terror is a little legitimate. I don't...I don't have a back up plan either. I have always wanted to join the Marines since I was 12. It's on par with me wishing to be a published author eventually. So, since the doors to what I've been wanting have been opening and I know I'm going in with good intentions (the reason for wanting this since I was a kid was only the start of my reasoning, but not the bulk of it. There's so much more) that I'm trusting God with all this. I have to. Nothing is impossible for him, so if I go to MEPS and my height is 4'10" or more, it's because of him. 

But, I've probably talked too long. From the reactions of my own family and some friends, I know that people just don't care or get it. I mean, who in their right mind joins the US Marines? Especially enlisted? But, it's just proven to me who's actually supporting me in this really long, difficult, life-changing decision and who's just critical. I don't really know what to make of people who are close to me that are "meh" about this. That's how my brother is and it kind of feels like he just doesn't care. But he's my brother, so I don't care what he thinks. I don't expect much from friends. I've learned not to, but still, it can hurt a bit right?

I know I'm an overthinker, so I'm trying to tamp down on all this extra thinking I have going on, at least redirect it elsewhere. It's just hard when I'm such a worrywort.

But yeah, on top of all that, I've been tutoring a girl on the Paragraph Comprehension portions of the ASVAB (and may have to help her out with math too...) Oh, and my bro is back from Japan for the month, so there's things that are being done with family stuffs, which is just stressful on me because me and the family don't exactly get on. 


And, quite literally, all I can of is the Beatles song, "Help! I need somebody!" Don't take this as a plee for attention. Oh friggin burnt cookies on your birthday no. Just no. It's just emotions. (See above.)



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June Rundown

3 min read
I should probably wait to post this till next week, but... I don't feel like it.

  1. Accomplished going paperless this month and volunteering at Denver Comic Con. I got to meet Jeffrey Dean Morgan and John Rhys-Davies!!!!!!! Yeah. I'm excited.
  2. Have finally restarted and overhauled the first book of Mortem Obire I, Mr. Death and Me. Which means I've changed Thanatos/Edmund's personality and I have to say it is far easier to write him and it is far more fun. He is no longer bland protagonist! It's changed and developed his desires, regrets, and choices and why he does what he does in the story and how he goes about, ahem, killing people. I can't help but giggle-snort at the idea. It'll be horror with humor, and  supernatural fantasy with detectives. Gosh darnit, I'm excited.
  3. Giving away 3 pieces of art who wants them or I'm probably going to toss them in the trash. They're not big pieces, but they're too big for me. Besides I'm picky about the interior design of my spaces. These guys just don't fit.

    <da:thumb id="617936660"/> <da:thumb id="617936930"/> <da:thumb id="617937044"/>
  4. I've decided my penname! E. E. Weiss. So, call me Eddie (especially for those who don't know what to call me at all because I've changed so often), to make it simple. (I know, I know, I've changed this so often but this time. I have truly decided. No going back. It'll be the name I'm going to publish under and it's the name I feel most comfortable with. As it's
    1. German: They say white people have it easier publishing too, yet I don't feel comfortable publishing under a name that is from another nationality than what I am. I'm not true German, nor do I consider myself German-American as the culture seems a little...distant from me no matter how many dirndls I own (2), foods I love, and no matter how much my mom and oma still exhibit this culture/personality. (Granted, my personality does fit in with the stereotypical German. This video describes me so well:

      I don't even speak German. But, it's the closest thing I got, so I'll take it.
    2. Genderless. No, I'm not trans or anything related to that. However, publishing as a woman is a lot harder than as a guy. There are lots of Eddies out there and not all are guys. Also, with my plan to join the military (especially intelligence if I pass the test and the classes), social media under my real name is pretty much a no-no. So, here we go. No pics of me. No real name. No gender-identifiable name, not that that's a requirement, but anonymity is the best defense, right? Probably a completely made-up backstory too. I may or may not reveal the truth when I leave the service. It all depends on what the future holds.


That's all I gotta say for now. I'm just excited and wanted to say something.



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Featured

Bootcamp by DieWildnis, journal

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